Do i matter?

If I wasn’t here tomorrow 
Would anybody care

I promised myself i’d write about this. but two weeks have passed, and i haven’t. so im just going to now. sorry its overdue. this is my heart speaking.

If I wasn’t here tomorrow 
Would anyone lose sleep

the other night i was at my aunty’s house. my mum was with friends. dancing to gangnam style. having fun. my dad was watching boxing with the guys. my little brother was with his friend. my little cousin was with his friend.

What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all

i was sitting alone reading a book.
i finished the book. i was still alone. nobody noticed me.

What if I just try not to remember
Would it matter at all
I wondered if anyone in the house would care if i ran away. it didn’t feel like it.
i came home. i didnt have fun. everyone else did.i went straight upstairs and locked myself into my room to cry.

If I wasn’t here tomorrow 
Would anybody care
Still stuck inside this sorrow
I’ve got nothing and going nowhere

this song came to thought.. i dont know where it came from. i’ve never heard of it before. its called *would it matter* by skillet. the lyrics are almost taken from my life.

What if I just pulled myself together
Would it matter at all
What if I just try not to remember
Would it matter at all
All the chances that have passed me by
Would it matter if I gave it one more try 
Would it matter at all

 

do i matter to anyone? does my family really love me? why does my brother hate me so much when i try so hard with him?

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